Life has crawled to a stop, pretty much. Another flirt with disaster knocked me back. "Do whatever you feel comfortable" was apparently not what the doctor meant. Disaster..
I should be up and back to normal within a few days, if not less. One more doctor appointment tomorrow late morning, and I won't see the cardiologist again until March. I'm going to be asking tomorrow just what exactly I am supposed to / allowed to do to gain strength, because sitting on my bum at the house isn't fixing anything but silently energizing that monkey I mentioned before.
Horses are good.
Dogs good. Cats? good.
Me? Not so much. The depression of seeing life whizzing by me at a racey blur, knowing I can't even reach out to grab hold of it, risk falling on my face, is catching me 100% and tying me down to my front door. I'm finding the only way to get by is to sneak around doing things, only to get scolded for them. My reasoning? If I do nothing, I don't get stronger. I have to do something, or it's not going to improve. Sitting watching movies and the junk of the TV doesn't increase any strength, except perhaps my eyes.
So I'm lingering. I've almost completely quit reading, because jealous takes a raging hold of my eyes, and I'm near in tears. Folks that have barns don't have to feed daily like I do, and seeing what I can't have, well, leaves me feeling pretty worthless...
Is time I go for now. I've got actual work-work to do, and despite my best efforts, it's piling up around me as well.