Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Light is Back on Outside the Arena

parents, hide your kids' eyes. explicit language, which you readers know I don't do very often. apologies in advance if I offend.

Last year, I was here. My entire life was being turned inside out, through battles on the job that no human should have to endure. The hollering, the yelling, the cursing, the insults, the threats. Things NO one should have to endure. For some reason I will never understand, I endured.

Things are finally changing, and I feel like a light has been turned back on. I don't have hope my entire life outside of the barn will turn around overnight. The world won't be all sunshiney and delightful, and I realize that. Earlier this week, I took charge of the situation. I very appropriately made my mark. Now, a few days later, I'm hearing words that are meaningless. To vent my frustration, let me say this.. "Apologies are bullshit."

However, I won't be shouted or cursed at again. It just won't happen. I've gotten out of that deep, dark funk, found joy in the horses again. I've learned how to turn the radio back up and sing like a rock star at my favorite loud "girl power" songs.

It's ironic, and celebratory, that for the first time in about two months.. It rained at my house..

It really rained. I'm hearing rumors of about an inch of heavenly precipitation. With that, I felt God crying the last time over my situation. He brought a strong storm, and said, "Enough. That's it. Now, the sun's out. Go enjoy."

Who wants to go ride with me tonight? I don't care if you hop on bareback, and walk for five minutes. Go for a ride with me, take a picture, or blog the story, and share in my renewed hope. Help me celebrate the rain we finally got, and the emotional sunshine that follows.

1 comment:

Mrs Mom said...


You are right- NO ONE should have to deal with that. And the person dishing it out?? Well.. might be THEY need a bigger stronger meaner someone to put them in their place so THEY can see how it freaking feels.


And need RASP ENEMAS!!!!!!!

I'll do my best to get on my pregnant gelding tonight and get pix!!