Thursday, March 25, 2010

Humor For the Day

No ponies last night, so no updates on rides for today. It was sprinkling rain, which was much nicer than the horrendous downpours we have been getting about weekly.

However, I stumbled on an old email I received quite some number of years ago, and I thought I'd share... Enjoy!

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a darn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24 This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing -still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31 A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33 Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic, disorder - my work here is done.
36 How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
38. I'm tired.....what's your excuse!

3 comments:

Mrs Mom said...

*cough cough* I've said most of those..... out loud... to the offending party..

AND! I've even added in:
That'll be your little secret
and
They conceal information like that in BOOKS.

;)

Turns out you can pretty much say what ever the hell is on your mind when you are close to 6' tall, work with very sharp tools for a living, and look like you could bench press a truck. Go figure that one huh?

Grey Horse Matters said...

Thanks that was perfect. I love a good laugh in the morning.

Jennifer said...

See, we're leaving off my favorite one..

I'm trying to see things from your perspective, but I can't get my head that far up my ...